lupus

My friend had been diagnosed with lupus. Her disease had been under control for a few years, but a few days ago it worsened. Needless to say, I was very saddened upon hearing that.

This time my friend's left eyesight blurred. Lupus is called 1000 facade disease, because it often disguises itself as another disease, one time it can show the symptoms of typhus, another time dengue fever, another time low hemoglobins, etc.

There are two tests one must take to determine whether it's really lupus or not. Those tests are called ANA and SLE.

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kliwon

As shown by its unique name, this new restaurant specializes in Javanese food. Its interior has two man-sized statues of Javanese puppet characters.

I had kliwon rice. It was rice with Javanese tofu curry, grilled chicken, Javanese sauteed vegetables, etc. It was nice and the price was so-so. Cozy place to meet and chat with friends.

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when the only leader i can see is a bad leader...

I can learn not to be like him. It's all about choice.

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judgment

People's bodies are source of information about them. From there you can determine best way of approach. For example, if you are a judgmental person, better not show that side of yours upon first meeting with people who are physically well-built. They hate judgment so much they spend abundant time in gyms to avoid being judged fat or unfit.

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filling

God is giving me clarity of mind and body health, to administer to people, whose safety is on top of His list, whose well-being is in His mind always, whose feelings and emotions He holds dear at heart.

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turning eyes away

Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, revive me in Your way.
-- Psalm 119:37 --

One of my childhood memories is going to the cinema with my father. He was fond of sci-fi movies. Sometimes scenes that shows physical intimacy appeared.

If main actor and actress started to kiss, my father would cover my eyes with his hand. My head was very small back then, just his one palm is enough to cover both of my eyes.

To ensure that I really couldn't see the screen, he rested his palm on two points on my face: my forehead and peak of nose. Sometimes I would push front and tease him by batting my eyelashes against his palm. I hoped that he would get ticklish and let go of his hand... Children had it a little uncomfortable for having a big hand on their face...

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getting out of a hell called insecurity

Like they said, the only way out is up... Currently I am in a very deep hole full of bad thoughts, inadequacy feeling, shame, self loathing, etc. I use Alice in Wonderland's solution, expanding oneself so that she can reach the door handle... I too, can get out of this hole/well/whatever, just put more effort on it. Work hard, me!

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one ring to rule them both...

Today as I was browsing images of wedding rings, i stumbled upon one picture that shows striking similarity to the ring in the LOTR movie. As usual wedding rings have the name of the spouse engraved on the insides. They have the same font.

Which gets me thinking... Did JRR Tolkien get his inspiration from wedding rings? Talking about ring that binds its bearer... Correct me if I'm wrong, but work of fiction depicts married man/woman as taking off their wedding ring before they commit infidelities...

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be a bigger man

If someone hurt you, forgive and let go. Be a bigger person than he/she is.

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sometimes i dream about sleeping

Some days I am invincible, I am awfully positive about life. But today is not one of those days.

I am tired. I let go.

Maybe tomorrow I'll fight for you again.

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clinging tendency

Increase the amount of exercise your dog gets daily. If you take your dog on three short walks a day, try adding a short run to it and taking him to a dog park a couple of times a week. An increase in exercise can help expel some of the nervous energy associated with clinginess. Exercising him before you leave can also make your absence less stressful.
-- How to Stop Your Dog From Being Clingy --

... something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning... We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back... we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.
-- Revolver --

In a relationship, whoever likes the other person more is prone of being clingy.

Clinging is not only found in relationships, though. We don't even cling exclusively to human being. We cling to social status, perceived safety, etc. All the things we think we cannot live without.

What is the cure for clinging, or addiction wearing a mask of insecurity? I believe it is to step out of our comfort zone. Start working our ass off. Stop taking easy paths to everything.

We will be liberated. And what a wonderful feeling it is to be free!

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procrastinate

Today google told me, that for my whole life, I've been doing a mistake. ... That is, mispelling 'procrastinate'. I had been spelling it 'proscratinate' whole time.

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first times -- part two --

There are many things I did for the first time in the recent year, and not all of them is told here.

I bought two sets of pierre cardin's undie. I bathed at two chinese-speaking cities. I ate gan guo (literal: dry pot). I watched Madura island from the air above.

I sold clothes via bbm. I tried disciplining a subordinate and failed.

First time in my life, only done in the recent year, if you know what I mean.

I'd like to mention that selling clothes via bbm requires A LOT of hardware requirements. Don't do it if you're lack of patience, either. It felt like having press caught a public figure after a night at the club. People are like paparazzi, they ask questions and won't let go.

There are many things I did for the first time in the recent year, and not all of them is good.

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happiness is...

My cousin's wife likes to spend her money (which is a lot) on clothes. Whenever she's bored with a piece of clothing, she gives it to me. Sometimes it fits my body. Sometimes it doesn't. I bring those that don't fit to a tailor to have them mended.

Sometimes happiness is not having new things. Sometimes happiness is making better of what you already have.

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read arabic phonetically

I'm curious why google translate doesn't provide 'read phonetically' feature for Arabic language, whereas such feature exists for other non-alphabet languages (Chinese, Japanese, Russian). Anyone knows?

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forsaking delphi

I have been thinking for awhile why many programmers in mainland China stopped coding in Delphi altogether. Tonight it dawned on me, could it be because Delphi's code completion (Ctrl+ Space) conflicts with Chinese keyboard?

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what is your excuse now?

Rome wasn't built in a day, but Prambanan Temple was. :D

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